Welcome brothers and sisters to the Royal Order of the Holy Mackerel!
In this meeting I debunk a popular theory about Dipper Pines real name!
I enjoy the fact that the meetings of the Royal Order of the Holy Mackerel have become a kind of Intellectual salon. A place where our members can feel free and safe to talk about their thoughts and theories about Gravity Falls. But something that I don’t want to let happen within our ranks is the proliferation of theories based on misinformation and are in turn believed to be fact. I won’t be going around squashing everyone’s theories – just occasionally tackling and debunking ones that are clearly false.
Such is the case behind a popular theory that Dipper’s real name is Goober – based on the events from Dipper’s Guide to the Unexplained: Stan’s Tattoo. Because Stan writes “Goober” on Dipper’s forehead (and because dipper doesn’t correct the misinformation afterward) people believe that Goober must be Dipper’s true first name.
THIS IS 100% WRONG.
Goober is the name of a type of peanut AND a part of American vernacular as a form of light hearted insult. There are several different theories on how it became part of American slang, but it’s a way of calling someone silly, foolish, or simple minded. When Grunkle Stan writes “Goober” on Dipper’s forehead, it was a Disney friendly way of calling him an idiot.
Hopefully this helps you understand why this is a joke. Grunkle Stan was aggravated by Dipper’s pushiness, and got his revenge by writing Goober on his forehead with a marker.
Since my previous meeting where I talked about my theory of Dipper’s real first name, I have verified that Alex DID say that the twin’s middle names are their parents first names – and that there may be more behind the theory of single generation alliteration. This means that Dipper’s real name may be closer to “Mabel”. Maurice, Michael, and Maris are three good guesses – though I like the idea of “Gabel” (shortened to Gabe).
But what do you think? What will Dipper Pines real first name be? Leave your theories and suggestions in the comments below!